Author: Deacon Michael


  • Everlasting Day

    Sunset On Hatch Lake

    On a recent trip to cub scout camp with three of my four boys, many of these words came to me on my walk to and from the shower house in the 5:00 A.M. hour. When I returned to camp, I prayed morning prayer then pulled out a piece of scrap paper and scribbled the words before forgetting them…

    I awoke as cool moonlight turned to golden morning. God was there.

    As chirps of crickets turned to symphony of birds, as warm blood red kissed the horizon over the lake. God was there.

    As I walked As earthworms slithered from the pathway seeking safety from daylight’s heat. As dew settled to dampen the dry land. As flags were raised and lowered as grass soaked up the sun as the cycle of life continued. God was there.

    Through the day As men toiled and children learned As crops grew and were harvested As priests chanted praise As wars raged and battles were fought As friends enjoyed moments, God was there.

    Through my day As I walked and worked and stumbled and regained footing and loved and grew impatient and wanted and received, God was there.

    As warm day returned to cool night As the everlasting sun descended the horizon, to visit those in darkness and rest and return to bring The everlasting day, God was there.

    As the dusk of my day approached, As my weary body laid down to soak in the rest of sleep As I sank below the horizon of life

    The everlasting Son! I rested in him and awoke in His everlasting day.


    My three oldest and me at camp last weekend. This was #3’s first time, and he’s been waiting years for the chance to go to cub scout camp with his brothers. It was a great weekend!

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  • Class of Twenty-Twenty-Something

    Now that the “cat’s out of the bag” and has been officially communicated to the clergy of our diocese, I can say a few words about how our diaconate “class of 2020” is now the “class of 2021” or (as we started to say) “2020-something”.

    We started as the smallest diaconate class in the history of our diocese – 7 men – and through the spring, two men discerned their way out of the calling and the program, leaving our class with just 5 men.

    Our formation team discussed with us on our retreat last weekend the current situation and their desire to re-open our class for new applicants to become new aspirants. The new aspirants would apply and go through interviews and vetting this fall, start an abbreviated aspirancy in January, and then join with our class entering candidacy next summer.

    In the meantime, our class’s academic formation will pause through the fall. We’ll still receive and begin pastoral assignments later this summer, and still meet monthly for spiritual and pastoral formation, and theological reflection.

    It means that it extends our formation by about a year, and pushes out ordination a bit for those who end up called to ordination. But it’s a journey, and it’s a good one, and I think my classmates and I have come to peace with this, and are ready to move forward and meet the rest of our class!

    So… do you know a possible candidate who might be interested in applying for aspirancy? Do you think you or someone you know has perceived a call to the diaconate? Please grab the announcement letter and the brochure that our director has released… and if you’d like, I’d be more than happy to talk with you personally about it too. I’d even give you a ride to the informational meeting on July 31 if you were interested.

    Please join me in praying for my classmates, and praying for some more great candidates for ministry in our diocese.

    Seven-Deacons

  • I Can't Imagine

    As I read the devastatingly sad news from Orlando of Lane Graves, the 2-year-old boy who was pulled into the lagoon by an alligator and drowned, I’m overcome by intense fatherly sadness, but struck by a single line of the story:

    “Demings said he and a Catholic priest relayed the news of the discovery to the boy’s parents, Matt and Melissa Graves, who were on vacation with their son and 4-year-old daughter from Elkhorn, Nebraska.”

    This is the second time since entering diaconate formation that my heart was drawn to the fact that a member of the clergy was there to deliver the news and be with the family in that moment. The last time this came up in a story, Suzanne and I talked about it at great length. She was drawn to the sadness of the story itself, and I was drawn to the presence of the sacred minister.

    I can’t imagine the pain and sadness that Matt and Melissa Graves are feeling right now, but I join with countless others in prayer for them and for their family. I also can’t yet imagine what it might be like to be there with them and for them, but I’m curious what I will learn as my formation journey continues to prepare me to be of service to God’s people in different ways, that may include moments like this in my lifetime.

    Without a doubt, in times like this, I can see the wisdom of the Church in balancing formation between its four core elements: spiritual, human, pastoral, and academic. Surely, all four dimensions are called upon deeply and put to their test in a moment like this.

    Prayers for the Graves family.


  • Diaconate Retreat 2016 (Photos)

    From June 9-13, 2016, our class of diaconate aspirants had our annual retreat. These photos are from our time at the Chiara Center (Franciscan Life Center) in Riverton, Illinois, just outside of Springfield.

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  • Retreat! #ThankfulThursday

    Starting this afternoon, I’ll be offline and away through Sunday for our annual diaconate formation retreat. I’m looking forward to this time away with my brother classmates as we prepare to seek candidacy this fall, and as we join with the class ahead of us who are on their final retreat before ordination in two weeks.

    After the roller coaster ride that was last weekend… playing music at a funeral, Sacred Heart devotions, and my final two Masses as music director, including a baptism and a first communion… leaving for retreat this weekend surely constitutes a valid #ThankfulThursday!

    I’m grateful for the opportunity for this retreat, and for the accommodations that the diocese is providing for us at the Chiara Center (Franciscan Life Center) in Springfield.

    I will be keeping you – my family and friends – and your intentions in my prayers during this time. Please keep me in yours.

    I have my copy of Coming Down the Mountain (affiliate link, if you’re interested in purchasing a copy) ready for when I return home. I think I’ll get a good run out of it this time.

    Our formation team and the class ahead of us kept telling us that the church at the Chiara Center is amazing… one of the most beautiful in our diocese. I can’t wait to see it in person! Here are a few pictures of St. Francis Church at the Chiara Center that members of the class ahead of us posted last night (their retreat started a day earlier):

    Taken by Mike Melton two years ago (that’s Neil Suermann sitting in the church):

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    Taken by Rick Schnetzler last night:

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  • Bittersweet

    I made it through a really rough last weekend as music director & organist at my home parish. My eyes didn’t water too much (but I’ll admit they did a little) and my handkerchief didn’t get too wet.

    There’s a weird feeling of emptiness that I kept feeling. So many thoughts that kept running through my heart and mind… stuff like:

    Don’t cry… You’ll be okay… You’re really going to miss this… I’m feeling so empty… Jesus, fill me up… Jesus, please fill me… I need your grace… Help me… Don’t look at them… Now they’re crying… Fill me up… 

    It kept coming down to me praying, “Fill me up”, as my chest felt empty, and then a feeling of peace that would wash over me. A few times, I knew I heard a voice speaking to me, “Something greater is in store.”

    Then I’d have thoughts like:

    Why are you having such a hard time with this? This was never YOURS anyway. This isn’t for you. This is for Him. Thank you. Fill me up… Something greater is in store.

    It was a blessing to be joined by so many friends and singers who had been with me through the years… (Art would have been there too, but they had already booked a family vacation through the weekend). This is my music family:

    And Suzanne brought the boys up to the loft for both Masses… we got one last picture of me with the boys at the organ:

    As it was written, though – as it relates to my music ministry, “It is finished.”

    I look forward to my first diaconate retreat this coming weekend.

    I trust that something greater is in store.


  • The Problem of Evil, Augustine to Today

    For centuries, “the problem of evil” has vexed those who believe in God and given those who do not believe a strong argument against God’s existence. Put simply, the problem of evil begs an explanation for the existence of pain and evil within the creation of a God who is supposedly all powerful, all knowing, and all good. As Brian Davies explains, it “is commonly seen as the problem of how the existence of God can be reconciled with the pain, suffering, and moral evil which we know to be facts of life.”[note]Brian Davies, “The Problem of Evil,” New Blackfriars 73, no. 862 (1991): 357.[/note] It is reasonable that if there is evil, God knows about it, could stop it, and would want to stop it. However, evil exists in our world. This problem was one of many Saint Augustine needed to reason his way through on his own path to Christianity, eventually settling upon an explanation that still serves us well today.

    Prior to his conversion, Augustine associated with the Manichees and espoused their belief that good and evil were forces of similar, infinite, real substances matched in battle here in our existence. Furthermore, the evil we encounter is the result of that battle in our natural world.[note]Augustine, The Confessions, trans. Maria Boulding (Hyde Park, New York: New City Press, 2001), 89.[/note] One modern Manichean construct that assists in understanding this position is found in the Star Wars films as the conflict between the light and dark sides of “the Force.”[note]Daniel Kolb, lecture on Augustine (Springfield, IL: Villa Maria Catholic Life Center, 9 April 2016).[/note] For a period of time, Augustine explored and considered this belief. Eventually, though, he settled upon his own explanation which helped him return to the Catholic faith. We still reference his explanation today since it established the key concepts for the discussion of evil in western philosophy.[note]Judith Chelius Stark, “The Problem of Evil: Augustine and Ricoeur,” Augustinian Studies, 13 (1982): 111.[/note]

    Augustine’s explanation of evil is rooted in its ontological nature (the understanding of its essence and existence): evil is not itself a substance, but rather, evil is the corruption of a good substance. Augustine accepts that God is all powerful, all knowing, and all good, and God created all things. He begins to explain evil by clarifying that creation is from God, not of God, therefore creation does not necessarily share in God’s perfect nature. To the contrary, he observes that the changeable world of nature is imperfect. It has things that cease to be within it, and he starts to consider that created things have a tendency toward corruption or non-existence. From this observation, he further considers evil as a corruption, a lack of form or lack of some ideal state. He then proposes that corruptibility in nature is not of God’s nature, but it is inherent in God’s creation because God created all things out of nothing. As a result, creation will have a tendency back toward nothingness – corruptibility – which is the nature and root of evil.[note]Stark, “The Problem of Evil: Augustine and Ricoeur,” 114.[/note] Augustine writes, in The Nature of Good:

    All corruptible natures, therefore, would not be natures at all if they were not made by God, and they would not be corruptible if they were made of him, because they would be what he is. And so they exist with whatever limit, whatever form, whatever order they have, because it is God who has made them. But they are not immutable, because that whence they have been made is nothing.[note]Augustine, The Nature of Good 10, in The Manichean Debate: The Works of Saint Augustine, a Translation for the 21st Century, trans. Roland Teske, S.J. (Hyde Park, New York: New City Press, 2006), 327.[/note]

    Augustine’s explanation of the problem of evil presents us with the idea that evil is present in nature because of the fact that God created nature out of nothing, and evil is the presence of some natural corruption based in nature’s tendency back toward nothingness.

    Over time, philosophers have added their own thinking atop Augustine’s foundation. In The Problem of Evil: A Solution from Science, Patricia Williams proposes that even advances in science lend credibility to some of Augustine’s thinking. She points to the second law of thermodynamics, which sets forth that closed physical systems become increasingly disordered over time, as necessary for life. Death, disorder, and corruption are scientific necessities of creation itself. Further, she puts forth the four fundamental forces (gravity, electromagnetism, and weak and strong interactions of nuclear elements) which allow material existence to be, as a necessary trade-off for creation itself. “Natural evil, the evil caused by earthquake, fire, and flood, occurs because planet Earth is subject to these laws.”[note]Patricia A. Williams, “The Problem of Evil: A Solution from Science,” Zygon 36, no. 3 (2001): 572.[/note] She provides a wonderful analogy of how God, in his goodness, chose to create, even within the real confines of the material with which he created, paralleling God’s creativity with an artist’s creativity:

    Artists choose their medium and its laws, then use the very constraints imposed by the medium and its laws to be creative. For example, an author may compose poetry or novels. Poetry has its own set of rules, and rules within rules. Novels have rules unlike those of poetry. Among novels, detective novels have different rules than historical ones. But all the rules are made by human beings, and following them produces the distinctive poem or novel the author wishes. God is like an author. God makes the rules and the rules within the rules. Which rules God makes depends on the desired creation. For this world, the main rules seem to be the second law of thermodynamics and the four fundamental forces. There might have been other worlds with other rules. But these rules turn out to be the ones for creating a world inhabited by creatures for whom morality is to be a central and serious matter.[note]Ibid., 573.[/note]

    In nature, when we expect eyesight but find that the eye is corrupted in its natural state, we might say the blind person is beset by the evil of blindness. If we expect life, but the body is plagued by its ultimate corruption, natural death, we might say the person has fallen to the evil of death. Augustine suggests that these corruptions in nature constitute evil, the necessary reality stemming from the nature of creation.

    There are, of course, situations which we would call “evil” that are imparted upon man by other men. These situations beg reasonable people to question God’s all powerful, all knowing, and all good nature. Murder, genocide, even involuntary and accidental acts of violence call this question to mind every day via news headlines and impacted friends and neighbors. The existence of human beings with free will introduces a complexity to the problem of evil, and one might wonder how Augustine’s explanation from the corruptibility of nature applies to these situations of moral evil. Augustine explains “this liability to corruption also has a moral dimension” and “these two dimensions – the ontological and the moral – are intrinsically joined.”[note]Stark, “The Problem of Evil: Augustine and Ricoeur,” 116.[/note] In this way, Augustine proposes that evil can be introduced or natural corruptibility can even be accelerated or exacted by man’s moral choice and resulting action. By choosing to impart man with free will, God introduced the potential for man to choose to do good or evil. Augustine even observes that God created all men as good, and “the villains themselves are fit only for these lower regions [of God’s world] in the measure that they are unlike [God], but for the higher when they come to resemble [God] more closely.”[note]Augustine, The Confessions, 130.[/note] He reinforces the idea that evil, in the moral sense, is still not a substance, but rather a corruption, or the lack of some good:

    I inquired then what villainy might be, but I found no substance, only the perversity of a will twisted away from you, God, the supreme substance, toward the depths – a will that throws away its life within and swells with vanity abroad.[note]Ibid.[/note]

    To Augustine, free will necessarily presents man with an opportunity to choose to initiate or cause evil to occur. The fact that man has free will opens the door to evil acts. Brian Davies carries this thinking forward, explaining:

    In creating people, therefore, God was faced with an alternative. He could either have created a world lacking moral evil, or he could have created a world where moral evil was a genuine possibility. If he had created the former he could not have created a world containing free agents. In fact, he created the latter, and this means that there is a genuine and unavoidable possibility of moral evil. In creating the world he did create God was making the better choice, because a world containing free agents is better than a world without them.[note]Davies, “The Problem of Evil,” 360.[/note]

    Or, as Williams simply states in The Problem of Evil, evil “is a necessary part of a humanity whose capacities make human beings moral beings.”[note]Williams, “The Problem of Evil: A Solution from Science,” 571.[/note]

    Augustine’s response to the problem of evil includes explanations of natural evil and of moral evil, those evils caused by the villainy of men exacted upon each other of their own free will. For centuries, it has served theologians, philosophers, the faithful, and those seeking answers, and some have even built upon it with modern scientific knowledge. But it does not present a suggestion of how men of good will could work to slow or work against some of the corruption of nature. For those answers, one could to turn to the theology of Augustine’s Christian faith, which beckons men to action. The Parable of the Good Samaritan, in which a traveler stops to help a stranger who had fallen prey to the evil of robbers (Luke 10:29-37 NABRE) is presented by Jesus as an illustration of how a man of good will might help offset evil. Jesus presents this parable in his conversation with the scholar of the law about the greatest commandment, to “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:25-28) The moral choice to love and treat others as yourself has a balancing effect on evil that might be initiated by men of lesser moral character.

    As Augustine helped us understand, evil is not a real thing of substance, but it is a reality of the natural world God created, due to creation’s very composition and rules. God accepted these rules as the trade-off for the material of creation and for the possibility of a creation that affords man his free will. In this sense, evil is not a problem per se, but an opportunity for a higher understanding of the reality of our transient, corruptible nature, and of hope and contemplation of that which is perfect, God himself.

    Submitted May 22, 2016, for the course “Introduction to Philosophy: Pre-Theology for Deacon Candidates”, Instructor: Daniel Kolb, Ph.D.


  • See You in the Eucharist #ThankfulThursday

    Appropriate for a #ThankfulThursday, because of how thankful I am for this chapter of my life…

    Dear Holy Family parish – Father Jeff, Father Stone, musicians, singers, staff, parishioners, friends…

    Music ministry at Holy Family has been at the heart of my life, my faith life, and my family for as long as I can remember. I remember taking my first 16-key Casio keyboard to St. Margaret Mary School in 2nd grade to try to pluck out John Foley’s One Bread, One Body by ear for show and tell. In middle school, Mr. Vizer successfully talked me into playing a duet with him at the school Christmas program.

    In 7th grade, I remember John Huff asking me, after seeing me at a piano recital, if I’d come play with the guitar group at the church. Shortly thereafter, he asked if he could put a microphone in front of me. I said, “I only sing in the shower,” and he replied, “I could rig a shower up over you too.”

    For six years I played with the guitar groups, and then in my college years I fell away from the faith a bit. Years later, after I had returned to the Church, I heard that a priest that I had connected with was heading to my home parish of Holy Family. I remember calling Jeanne Schnefke and asking if the guitar group was still around and could use a keyboardist again. I remember her immediate and enthusiastic “Yes!”

    Within the next year, we had formed an offshoot “ensemble” which started taking on more responsibilities around the parish. I remember when we were starting and Carol Reagan called and said, “We’ll all be there to sing with you. You just tell us when and where.” I remember Frances & Mario Rossi & Rich Koerper’s, “You want to try a youth-oriented group? Let’s try it!” The next 15 years or so, until today, have been a whirlwind of joy, happiness, friendship, and accomplishment in ministry. I remember magnificent Advent concerts joining our adult choir & ensemble. I remember re-meeting Suzanne here after a Wednesday night practice and Mass, leading to our marriage and family. I remember Christmas Eves and Triduums.

    You don’t really keep count when starting on a journey like this, but some rough math tells me that in the last 15 years, I’ve had the honor of helping lead our community in song at some 1,500 liturgies – Sunday Masses, weddings, funerals, graduations, Confirmations, Anointing Masses, and more.

    Now, I must say “farewell” to this chapter of my life in order to move on to the next to which I believe I am called. As I progress into years two through four of the diaconate formation program, I am excited to go where our diocese chooses to send me to help me grow in my parish experiences and pastoral ministry. This change carries the bitterness of a “goodbye” to my music ministry at Holy Family, but the happiness and excitement of the future that could come.

    I will miss climbing the stairs to the choir loft a few times each week. I will miss the friends in the choir loft – and now my own sons playing instruments and singing with the ensemble and choir. I will miss our parish community, and our liturgies, and hearing the sound of you singing along loudly from the pews. (Yes, we can often hear it in the loft!)

    THANK YOU to all of those who came and went through the years: Carol, John, Judy, Mario & Frances, Carolyn, Art, Kristin, Katie, Tracy, Jacqui, Suzanne, Leta, Kathy, Steve, Charlie, Jeff & Gay, Jeff, Doug, Maggi, Mary Jo, Richard, Misty, Justin, Joe, Chris, Thomas & Matthew. THANK YOU to Pat, my partner in music and ministry, and the adult choir. THANK YOU to the pastors I’ve had the pleasure of serving. THANK YOU to everyone who has supported us, especially Suzanne and our boys and our whole family.

    Holy Family is my home – it will remain our family’s home. I’ll just be away learning more about how to help serve our Church in new ways. I won’t be gone entirely, though, and still look forward to being around from time to time at Masses, events, dinners, school events, and the like.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity to be a servant – a servant in music ministry – to you for so many wonderful years. Know that you remain in my daily prayers, and I beg you to please keep me in yours.

    I recall the words of a long-time friend of mine, Father Steve Arisman, who said something like, “I don’t believe in saying ‘goodbye’ – I say, ‘I will see you in the Eucharist.” Because when we are gathered at Mass, no matter where we are or when it is, we are all joined together in the mystical Body of Christ formed through the ages. I will see you in the Eucharist!

    With love and prayers, Michael


  • O God of Earth and Altar

    With prayer and thanksgiving for all of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice of their lives in service of our country.

    O God of earth and altar, bow down and hear our cry, our earthly rulers falter, our people drift and die; the walls of gold entomb us, the swords of scorn divide, take not thy thunder from us, but take away our pride.

    From all that terror teaches, from lies of tongue and pen, from all the easy speeches that comfort cruel men, from sale and profanation of honor, and the sword, from sleep and from damnation, deliver us, good Lord!

    Tie in a living tether the prince and priest and thrall, bind all our lives together, smite us and save us all; in ire and exultation aflame with faith, and free, lift up a living nation, a single sword to thee.

    Words: Gilbert Keith Chesterton, 1906 Music: King’s Lynn Meter: 76 76 D


  • Open My Eyes

    Signpost in the Mountain - iStock.com/Mimadeo

    Signpost in the Mountain – iStock.com/Mimadeo

    Fifteen or so years ago, when I had returned to church and was starting to seriously discern God’s will for my life and vocation, a certain song hit a chord with me and became deeply intertwined with my prayer life and discernment. The song was Jesse Manibusan’s Open My Eyes:

    There were nights that I drove around, praying the words. One night in particular, after leaving an evening of coffee and Scrabble with Suzanne, “praying” that song opened my heart to God and helped me clearly “hear” and understand that marriage with Suzanne was my first vocation.

    Signs in my Life

    I’ve always been fortunate enough to stay keenly tuned into the little “signs” that pop up around me in everyday life, and I act a lot by gut (within reason) based upon those signs. I could list countless examples of signs that came at just the right time to help me understand that something was right, or that I was heading in the right direction, or that I should explore a new opportunity.

    I firmly believe that being “tuned in” to signs and using them in one’s discernment is a key element of a strong faith life, and a confirmation of the presence and fruits of the Holy Spirit.

    Open My Eyes & My Present Journey

    Fast forward more than a dozen years… in October of 2013, I headed to Springfield, IL, to the gathering space at our diocesan cathedral, for an “information session” on the permanent diaconate and the formation process. As we sat down and the presenters started to play a video about the diaconate, the video opened with Open My Eyes as the background music.

    A sign. Among others that day, this one stood out as another signpost along my journey, that I was heading where God intended.

    I applied, continued the process, was accepted as a candidate, started in the program, and am now coming close to completing my first year of the five year formation program.

    It hasn’t been easy – one of the first classes we took was on discernment, and it has provided useful frameworks and encouragement for ongoing discernment. But recently,  as a couple of my classmates have left our class, discerning that this isn’t a call for them right now, it has continued to awaken my own doubts and questions, and continued to push me to more deeply discern my own calling.

    A few weeks ago, when I went for my early morning time with my spiritual director, I first attended morning Mass at his parish church. As I sat down after the Gospel and homily, pondering what I wanted to talk with him about as it related to my own questions, doubts, and discernment, the musician announced the hymn at Offertory:

    Open My Eyes

    Just what I needed. Yet again, God provided a sign. A flood of memories of a life of discernment, and perspective on a life of mission and calling, flowed back into my mind and my heart.

    The sign told me that I was right where God willed me to be today. And the journey continues, and I continue to watch for the signs.

    Your Signs?

    Do you use “signposts” like these from God in your journey? What kinds of signs have meant the most to you in your life? Is there a very memorable important one from your own journey?