What’s more important? A win – or your commitment to your team?

Our youngest was very excited to win his baseball game last night on 8th grade night. They haven’t racked up many wins, so this one meant a lot.

He’s also been talking about “retiring” from baseball after this season (not playing on into high school). But the team has one more final game this Wednesday.

After the win tonight, I was taking him out for a treat and he said that he thought he’d like to go out on a win, and doesn’t want to go to the game on Wednesday since they’ll probably lose.

That led to a good conversation.

The simple version went something like this:

Son: I don’t think I’ll go to the game on Wednesday.

Me: Why not?

Son: It’ll be nice to go out with a win after tonight.

Me: But your team is counting on you for Wednesday.

Son: Yeah, but we’re most likely not going to win that game. I’d rather go out on top.

Me: What’s more important? Going out on top? Or following through on your commitment to your team?

(Silence…)

On one hand, it doesn’t matter, because the way we parent, we’re going to take him to the game on Wednesday anyway. He doesn’t really have a choice now, since he committed to his team already.

But on the other hand, I hope that he’s really considering out conversation and the point I was trying to make.

Life is full of a lot of ups, downs, twists, turns, and “exit ramp” moments.

But living up to our commitments is important throughout.

It’s part of living with integrity.

Following through on commitments to your team shows up through Scripture in verses that emphasize integrity, faithfulness, and working in unity.

The Scriptures underscore that all work should be done with a sincere heart, as if serving God, which strengthens dependability and builds trust within a group. 

Integrity and keeping your word

Psalms 15:1-5

“LORD, who may abide in your tent?
Who may dwell on your holy mountain?

Whoever walks without blame,
doing what is right,
speaking truth from the heart;

Who does not slander with his tongue,
does no harm to a friend,
never defames a neighbor;

Who disdains the wicked,
but honors those who fear the LORD;
Who keeps an oath despite the cost,
lends no money at interest,
accepts no bribe against the innocent.

Numbers 30:3

“When a man makes a vow to the LORD or binds himself under oath to a pledge, he shall not violate his word, but must fulfill exactly the promise he has uttered.”

Matthew 5:37

“Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.”

Proverbs 10:9

“Whoever walks honestly walks securely,
but one whose ways are crooked will fare badly.”

Unity and teamwork

Scripture teaches that working together in unity and mutual support is more effective than working alone.

The Bible uses the metaphor of the Church as a body to emphasize that team members are interdependent and should have equal concern for each other.

Verses encourage a selfless attitude, valuing others and their interests above your own. 

Faithfulness and diligence

The Bible also encourages working with all your heart, as though serving God, for a higher purpose.

It teaches that being steadfast and diligent in your work for the Lord is not in vain.

It also highlights that faithfulness in small matters demonstrates true reliability and character. 

Living Your Commitments

Stepping up to the plate for the final game of the season, despite the temptation to bask in the glory of a second-to-last game victory, embodies the true spirit of commitment to your team.

It’s not just about chasing wins; it’s about honoring the bond with your teammates, coaches, and the game itself.

Showing up for that last game, regardless of the outcome, demonstrates resilience and loyalty – qualities that define a team player. You’re not just playing for the scoreboard but for the shared journey, the grit, and the memories forged on the diamond.

Finishing the season strong, with your head held high, sets a powerful example and leaves a legacy of dedication for your team.

And not just in baseball, but in life.

On our anniversary trip to Disneyland last week, my wife and I went on another of the many rides that I would not have ridden for many years – Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission: BREAKOUT.

It’s like the Tower of Terror at Hollywood Studios in Florida, a rapidly accelerating up and down elevator type of ride.

It’s on the list with the many fast or high rides that I avoided for years, until the last few years as our family has been going to Disney parks more frequently and I’ve picked up the pace of trying new ones with the boys or with Suzanne.

Last week after riding Guardians, Suzanne asked me,

“What changed?”

What made me suddenly more comfortable riding those types of rides?

I had to ponder that question a bit.

But in the days since, the answer is solidifying for me.

It isn’t something about those rides, per se.

Before, they were unknown. And that scared me.

When you ride a roller coaster or other type of thrill ride, you mostly have to put your trust in the ride as it takes you on an adventure into an unknown territory.

It’s about overcoming a fear of the unknown, or even embracing the unknown and being comfortable with it.

Accepting & Overcoming the Unknown

I think there’s a parallel growth here in the spiritual life, and perhaps growing more comfortable with an unknown ride in a theme park has also come in tandem with growing more comfortable with other unknowns in life.

Perhaps some of this is natural as we grow older and have experienced more in life – especially overcoming more unknowns.

But some of it grows through prayer and deepening trust in God and His providential care.

Scripture to Ponder

Here are some Scripture verses to reflect upon about overcoming fear of the unknown, or accepting the unknown:

Reassurance of God’s Presence

• Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” 
• Psalm 23:4: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me.”

A Spirit of Power, Not Fear 

• 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control.”

Trust and Prayer

• Philippians 4:6-7: “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
• Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence do not rely; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.”

God’s Guidance 

• Psalm 16:11: “You will show me the path to life, abounding joy in your presence, the delights at your right hand forever.”
• Isaiah 42:16: “I will lead the blind on a way they do not know; by paths they do not know I will guide them. I will turn darkness into light before them, and make crooked ways straight. These are my promises: I made them, I will not forsake them.”

How have I continued to grow into how to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to the right things?

After last week’s email and update about my new role with the Archdiocese of Mbarara Foundation, a former pastor and beloved priest friend of ours, Father Larry, sent me a note…

“I couldn’t help but remember what I had told you in my office years ago that you had one flaw. You didn’t and can’t find a way to say no.”

I smiled when I received that. I always smile when I receive Father’s notes, but this one warmed my heart.

Father Larry was a wonderful pastor and mentor as I grew into adulthood, got married, and started a family. He had been a VP of Sales in a large tech company, raised a faith-filled family with his wife Barbara, was active in the church with her and the family, and then later entered the priesthood as a second vocation after she passed away.

He was our pastor, he helped Suzanne and I prepare for marriage. And I worked for him as music director in the parish, and as the president (and later a member) of the parish pastoral council, among other roles and ministries.

Sage Advice, Years Ago

It was close to twenty years ago.

I don’t remember the exact scenario – there were plenty of opportunities – but after one of the many times that I had said “yes” to helping with something else around the parish, my pastor at the time, and the pastor of the parish across town with whom we were partnering on many ministries and initiatives, pulled me aside.

They were concerned that I kept saying “yes” to and taking on too much.

They had good advice and feedback, rooted in their own journey with the same challenge.

The biggest takeaway I got from them was this:

When someone asks you to commit to something, simply say, “I can’t say for sure right now. Give me a day or two to think about it. I’ll get back to you…”

Give yourself time, and give the person asking a fair expectation of when you’ll say “yes” or “no”.

Then spend the time really contemplating the commitment, whether you can take it on, and whether it falls in line with your priorities.

If it’s a BIG commitment, involve your spouse, significant other, or family into the consideration.

How I’ve Grown in This

I was grateful to be able to reply to Father to let him know that this recent “Yes” was the result of following that process.

In fact, a few weeks before the dinner night at our house, one of the priests had asked me to consider the role.

I had already taken it to prayer many times over those weeks, and talked with Suzanne about it.

We were still on the fence, but were leaning towards helping in some way.

As we sat discussing the need after dinner last week, it became apparent that this was something we could say “Yes” to together, and that I’d have her support in taking it on.

And it was after a deep rootedness in prayer and careful contemplation.

That’s Where I’ve Grown

That’s where I’ve grown. Not only do I buy myself time before committing either way, I’ve grown a solid muscle of taking it to prayer.

Each day, when I make a Holy Hour in prayer and contemplation, I take these commitments to prayer.

For the existing commitments, I pray:

• How do I continue to do well?
• What do I need to do next?
• How do I bring more of what I can uniquely bring?
• Who else can I engage to help with other aspects?

For new commitments, I pray:

• Does this align with the priorities and the vision that Suzanne and I have set for our next 10+ years?
• Is this something that I can uniquely help with, with my God-given strengths?
• How long is the commitment for? What boundaries can I set around it, or do I need to set around it?
• How do I ensure I set the right expectations?
• Who else in my network could help? Does this help me grow my existing relationships and help others grow with me?
• Does this challenge me and help me grow in some new way?
• Can I honestly take this on while still maintaining my priorities to Suzanne, the boys, my work, and my parish assignment as deacon?

Most days, my Holy Hour is early in the morning. On Sundays, it’s in the evening during Adoration at our parish.

That’s precious time to converse with God for guidance on these big and little commitments.

Sometimes, this discernment takes weeks.

The key is: If I continue to sense a pull towards moving forward, I’ll keep exploring and taking steps in that direction.

If I start to feel otherwise, or it feels conflicted, it’s a good sign that it’s not a good time for me to commit to it at that time.

One More Thing: Letting Things Go

In order to discern new areas to lean in and serve, it’s also important to let go of areas where you’ve done all you can, or where your unique strengths aren’t needed any more.

Paring down or commitments – knowing when to step back, and how to gracefully do so – is equally important.

Prayer is also helpful for this, especially the practice of a daily Examen.

In a daily Examen, one can also spend time reflecting upon the work and the moments of the day, and where moments of desolation are starting to set in. This becomes a good leaping point for discerning whether something you’re doing is something you should continue doing.

Sometimes this helps you understand when it’s time to let something go.

A great example of this for me in the last few months is the design and layout of our parish’s weekly bulletin. A few years ago, when we started to self-publish a more custom and beautiful layout with more robust contents, I led the effort. I continued that for more than a couple of years.

But we knew that in time we wanted to hand that off to our parish secretary. I resisted it for a while. We also tried a few times, but it didn’t quite fit into his workflow or skillset.

Finally, through weeks of prayer, I continued to realize that the weekly bulletin was causing me continued desolation. As much as I loved doing it – and knowing that I was helping – I knew it was time to hand it off.

Remarkably, the transition was the right time and happened just fine. My friend, our parish secretary, also commented within a few weeks that he appreciated how it was pushing him and giving him new benefits and growth.

Sometimes, it’s the art of intentionally letting things go that allows us the space to say “yes” to new things that need our unique time and talents.

In the Spirit

I am grateful to have developed this muscle through the years.

I’m still not perfect at it, but it works most of the time, and continues to serve me well.

At the end of the day, trusting and taking this discernment to prayer is a way of remaining open to the Holy Spirit’s insights and guidance on this journey of life and service.

I know that, and it’s why I smiled when I read the next part of Father Larry’s email last week:

“I don’t know how you do it, but you are truly injected with the very spirit of Jesus himself. I love you for it.”

All of us as the Baptized have that Holy Spirit. All of us Confirmed have it in its fullness, firmed up within us to help us in this way, and then to give us the gifts we need to succeed in these endeavors.

And when we truly lean into that, and live in it, we love each other for it!

We give all that we can, our best, with our own unique God-given talents and strengths.

And that’s one piece of how the Body of Christ works.

Thanks be to God!

Tips & Tools from Elsewhere

Father Mary Mary, CFR, one of my favorite confessors, on Ascension Presents: How to Discern Pretty Much Anything.

USCCB: Discernment Tools (focused on vocation discernment).

Word on Fire: Discernment is Not About Choice.

Ignatian Spirituality: The Daily Examen.

Hallow: How to Pray the Daily Examen.

We hosted dinner at our house on Friday. Suzanne made an amazing chicken with green beans and mashed potatoes.

Who came to dinner?

Four Ugandan priests (including our pastor & parochial vicar) and a couple friend of ours.

Originally, our pastor had asked if maybe we could host up to twenty, but as the invites all went out with less than a week’s notice, most people couldn’t come.

But the couple of friends and the four priests were there, and we had a wonderful dinner and conversation.

The real reason for the evening

The real reason was that the Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Mbarara in Uganda has given permission and asked for help in forming a Foundation here in the United States to help rally support and raise funds for key projects across the Archdiocese.

The permission was given and the process was started earlier this year. I was asked to sit on the Board of Directors, along with a few other friends here.

One of those friends got us started as the initial President, but needed to step down.

So the real reason for dinner was to try to convince Suzanne (or one of us) to step up and help lead the continued formation and the start of the work of the Foundation.

Who?

I say “to try to convince Suzanne” because we had signals leading into the night that that was the intent.

But we talked, and we knew that Suzanne’s skills to offer are more in the strengths she brings to her day job – helping organize an event or design an appeal.

As we sat and watched Father Charles, one of the priests, whose job is to help mobilize resources for the University the Archdiocese runs in Mbarara, present on the needs and the opportunity, I felt a tug and heard a whisper…

“You start things. This is what you do.”

And when the video presentation was zooming in on a photo of the University building, I heard, “This is going to be part of your legacy.”

Yes

Suzanne and I both agreed and said that I could be the person to help with this, and that we’d lean in together to assist.

So as our guests left dinner on Friday, I had been tapped (and said yes to being) the next President of the Foundation.

One of our other friends who was there at dinner joked with me on Sunday that I’m a bobblehead whose head only moves up and down. 🤣

But I think there’s something deeper and more meaningful behind this “Yes”.

More to come

We have some basic steps to complete, like securing 501(c)(3) status so that donations can be claimed as tax-deductible, and setting up basic digital properties, branding, and processes.

But in the coming weeks, as things take shape, I can’t wait to share more, and maybe even to ask you to help the people of Uganda.

Initial projects will likely include things like:

• Helping fund student support at the University
• A well for reliable water at the University
• Other wells and water needs around the Archdiocese, including at schools and medical centers
• Other physical needs at churches, schools, and medical centers
• A bus for the University
• And much, much more…

I’ll share more soon, but in the meantime, please – most importantly – start to join me in prayer for the mission of the Foundation supporting the Archdiocese of Mbarara and its people.

If you have ideas, I’m all ears!

How about a spiritual exercise helping you be more ready & open to evangelize?

Over the last few years, when I talk with someone who has undertaken a spiritual exercise on one of the apps or programs available, today they ask for a very specific thing next:

When will there be a program that helps us evangelize – to have conversations with others about our faith and extend them an invitation to join us?

A background & a pause

After leaving my year and a half stint at Exodus, I continued to wrestle with this question. I took it to my spiritual directors multiple times. I wrestled with a perceived call to help provide the answer to that question.

For a time, I worked on it slowly. Then I felt a very distinct direction to stop. It wasn’t time – not that I wasn’t supposed to do it – but it wasn’t the time.

Then I underwent a darker period, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, for nearly a year.

But late this Spring, the calling to pursue this became more clear, and it felt as though it were time.

Forming something new – ready to evangelize

While undertaking the crafting and writing of this thing – now called Emmaus 15 – I also started the process of forming a company to operate it. I also enlisted a couple of old friends & collaborators to serve on the board. We formed a corporation, set to work, and were granted 501(c)(3) status to operate as a non-profit entity.

And now it’s almost time for it to come alive.

Emmaus Disciples is a non-profit organization seeking to help Catholics deepen their faith and share it with others.

We will be launching this fall with Emmaus 15: An Exercise of Emmaus Disciples. It is a 15-week journey into a deeper relationship with Jesus and an understanding of how to invite others into a relationship with Him.

A spiritual exercise helping you be ready & open to evangelize.

Why 15 weeks? It has allowed for a good pattern and structure for the journey. Plus, the journey from Jerusalem to Emmaus was about 7 1/2 miles, and it was about 7 1/2 miles back.

So the 15 mile journey to Emmaus and back becomes a 15 week journey of prayer, reflection, and action for today’s faithful.

Be a part of this spiritual exercise

Sign up for more information as it becomes available.
Be on the list to be one of the first people to try Emmaus 15.

Share this with others who might be interested. It’s designed for each person to undertake the journey with another person (just as the two disciples did in the Gospel).

The initial soft launch (online only) will be on September 25… 57 days from today. We’re discussing also possibly making the exercise available next year in a book form with space for handwritten reflection and journaling.

Why September 25? It’s the Memorial of Saint Cleopas, the one disciple out of the two who made the journey to Emmaus with Jesus who is named in the Gospels.

Or make a tax-deductible donation to help us prepare to launch and spread the word about our work.

I’m grateful to have been gifted continued clarity on this journey. But there are also moments of knowing intensely that Satan does not want this to come to life.

If nothing else, please pray as we continue the journey of bringing Emmaus 15 & Emmaus Disciples to life.

Saint Cleopas, pray for us!

About a year ago, I embarked on the journey of running. I still wouldn’t call myself “a runner”. I would just say, “I run”.

My youngest son inspired it – he pushed us to start running together, partially as a way to do something together, and partially to help support me in a journey towards continuing to better my health. It has yielded both results, for which I’m grateful.

We have run more than a handful of 5K and longer racing events, which have been fun – from small, local fundraiser 5Ks with less than 50 people running, to massive RunDisney 10 Milers with tens of thousands of runners at Walt Disney World in Florida.

But we’re still not 100% consistent.

It’s actually a consistent joke in our house: “Are you guys actually running today or not?”

Some days are hard, some days are easy. But working towards the consistency is key, and a good goal. We’re working on it.

Just like so many other things in life, it just takes the conscious decision to get up and go. It takes putting one foot in front of the other.

We found that last week as we headed out on a hot, 90 degree St. Louis day with close to 100% humidity. It was a hot and sweaty run, but it was done!

Hot, sweaty, and done – one foot in front of the other.

What else in life takes this mindset and approach? Almost everything… work, relationships, leisure, taking care of home, raising family… Deepening our prayer life and relationship with God.

One step at a time.

Reflection: Father in Heaven, what are the areas of my life where I step back from opportunity or responsibility when it’s hard, or boring, or not as fulfilling as I had hoped? Help me understand the steps to take, and the path through difficulty. Give me strength and grace to always take the next steps.

Also: Speaking of running, I’m helping to lead bringing back the Royal Run 5K (& 1K Fun Run) at St. Elizabeth this fall. The event is a fundraiser towards our Centennial Capital Campaign. You can read more and register here. Or if you’re interested in volunteering in some way, contact me.

Running? Yep.

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” – John Bingham

You can’t beat a high-five from your son as you wrap up the last running segment of the day on your 5K training program.

Suzanne and I recently embarked on a weight-loss journey together. We’re a couple of weeks in and doing – and feeling – great!

What can we find that unites us? Now more than ever.

It was quite a week. Saturday evening after Mass at home, I was on the road north to an overnight at St. Francis Solanus in Quincy to assist at two Masses there Sunday morning just before picking up one of our sons at a volleyball camp at Culver Stockton College. It was on that drive that I heard about the attempted assassination of former President Trump via text message from Suzanne.

For me, as for the rest of us, that moment led to a week of seeing the signs of the frightening division in our society.

Still, I was blessed with two experiences that gave me the grace of seeing the Unity that’s also present in our society.

Unity in Baseball: the MLB All Star Game

As each of our boys has graduated 8th grade, I’ve taken them on a father-son trip. Our oldest and I spent a few days on Broadway. Our second oldest and I took several trips to taekwondo competitions over a summer, and then a road trip to Colorado.

Our third oldest asked about going to the All Star Game in Arlington, Texas last week, so that became our trip.

We had a blast! I would definitely try to find a way to another All Star Game in the future.

We ran into a family from church who talked about how they head to All Star Week every week as a family vacation. They usually take in All Star Village (which is a festival/convention of baseball fandom activities, history displays, cultural displays, and sponsor exhibits) and often some combination of the Home Run Derby or warmup night, all of which comes in at much less expensive than the big game itself.

One of the most striking aspects of the experience, though, was how baseball fans overcome their love of their teams for their love of the game.

It was fun walking around all day seeing so many smiling faces of different people wearing different teams’ and players’ jerseys.

Occasionally, someone would strike up a conversation about still holding a grudge for a certain year when the Cardinals knocked their team out of the playoffs, or in the World Series. But every one of those conversations would end with a laugh, a small, a handshake, and a mutual acknowledgement of mutual love of the game.

As Drew Shaw & Ryan Thorpe wrote in an article for Arlington Report, “On a typical game day in Arlington, Globe Life Field is colored in two tones: Texas Rangers blue and red. Tuesday was far from a typical game day. Baseball fans wearing Rangers jerseys walked side-by-side with the Washington Nationals red, Houston Astros orange, New York Yankees navy and Pittsburgh Pirates yellow – all brought together from across the country for the 94th MLB All-Star Game.”

That was definitely my experience, and part of what made it such a great trip: Despite what could be so many differences, a shared love of a game brings friendship, mutual respect, and unity.

Unity in Jesus: the National Eucharistic Congress

As soon as Joseph and I got home from Dallas-Fort Worth/Arlington on Wednesday, I hit the road east to Indianapolis for a few days at the National Eucharistic Congress.

As soon as I walked into the Congress on Thursday, the thing that struck me the most continued through my time there:

It was the biggest, most diverse gathering of the Church in the USA that I’ve ever seen.

50,000+ Catholics from all over the nation (and the world), gathered in one place – and it was a completely even mix of all ages, all races, clergy, religious, and lay. Walking around the corridors and common areas, one could hear many languages and see everything from the most elderly slowly making their way with the help of walkers to young couples pushing multiple children in multiple strollers.

It was true “unity in diversity” on display. It was the Church!

I love the way that Ed Condon said it on The Pillar Podcast live from Thursday night at the Congress. He said:

“I can’t think of anywhere else in the country right now where you can get whatever tonight tallied, 25,000, 30,000, 35,000 people who are all in one place at one time for a particular purpose, and it’s not versus something. That it’s not adversarial. That it’s not pitched as, ‘We’re here to stick it to those others.’ That it was an exercise, it was a palpable atmosphere of communion, and that is something that we really, intensely lack more broadly right now in the world, in the country, etc., etc., etc. There are plenty of conferences and other things going on now and in subsequent weeks, and they are directly pitched as, well, “Our people hate the right people.” And here, our people hate no one. And that’s the most powerful sign that the Church can give in the world right now.” (Emphasis mine; quote starts at approx. 3:27 into the podcast.)

That perfectly summarizes my experience of seeing the unity – the Communion – on display at the Congress.

And for that gift, this week in particular, I’m grateful.

From baseball to the Eucharist.

“Our people hate no one. And that’s the most powerful sign that the Church can give in the world right now.”

Unity. We need a renewed focus on what unites us. Now, it seems, more than ever.

And if you’ll pardon me, I need to go talk with my two sons who are fighting over the rules of air hockey over the game table downstairs.

“You’re a starter. You start things.”

“I finally figured you out. You’re a starter. You start things.”

A few years ago, I had just finished giving my annual talk to the CEO class at a local high school when the mentor told me that. And it stuck with me.

“You’re a starter. You start things.”

At times, it has kind of gnawed at me in contemplation. How many layers can I peel back to understand the core of who I am, and what excites and energizes me and my work?

A rough 6 months

Not many people have known, but I’ve had a really rough six months. Only my wife Suzanne has really seen the depths of it, and God bless her for her love and support through these months.

It started when I was let go, with a handful of others, from Exodus earlier this year. What I had joined in the belief that it was a mission to which I was called had quickly soured. Honestly, within a few months I could tell that it wasn’t going to work long-term, and I was actually relieved when I was let go. But that didn’t make it any easier, since it still feels like it’s a mission that isn’t being led and served as well as it could or should be.

Over the last six months, I’ve wrestled with questioning my vocation as a deacon, considered asking for a leave from my assignment or even from my faculties.

I bought a Tesla. Suzanne joked that it’s my midlife crisis car. I pondered – am I in a mid-life crisis?

Getting through the lows of the last six months has taken a lot of time in spiritual direction, meeting with those in authority over me in the diocese, and with my pastor to reformulate my duties and commitments in the parish.

It’s taken a lot of nights away in prayerful reflection. It’s taken a lot of praying for each other and chats through the group chat of those of us who have left Exodus. It’s taken the love and support of so many around me.

It’s taken the blessing of landing back in a job with a team that I deeply love.

But it’s still been a continued darkness.

A trip to Disney

I started to feel like I was rising out of the clouds and the darkness a couple of months ago when we decided on where to go for our family vacation this year – Walt Disney World in Florida for the week of July 4.

Almost as soon as I booked the trip, my disposition flipped to a more positive, happy one.

Suzanne even questioned me more than once – what was it about going to Disney that had me so happy?

I became fixated on the trip and helping us discuss and pull together every detail.

Our time at “The Most Magical Place on Earth™️” came and went quite quickly, and I was riding the high!

The last morning: Peter Pan

A curious thing was nagging at me, though. Despite all the trips to all the theme parks with different groupings of me, Suzanne, and the boys, I still hadn’t had a chance to ride Peter Pan’s Flight.

I had gone into the trip knowing that I should try to ride it again before they closed it for refurbishment and re-working a couple of the scenes (scheduled for right after our trip). But I didn’t quite know why it was nagging at me so much to make it to Peter Pan.

The last night of our trip, I told Suzanne and Thomas that I wanted to get up early the next morning and get to the early opening hours of the Magic Kingdom to be able to get to Peter Pan. Thomas said he’d like to go with me.

So our final morning, Thomas and I left early and caught a bus to the Magic Kingdom to be there for the early rope drop for the resort guests. While everyone else was running to Seven Dwarves Mine Train or the other popular first rides to line up for, we ran to Peter Pan’s Flight.

Neverland & growing up

Sitting next to my oldest, Thomas, flying through Peter Pan’s Flight at the Magic Kingdom, I was hit by a tidal wave of emotion.

Last week, I took it to spiritual direction and had an opportunity to reflect upon and talk through why – and what it meant to me. I appreciate my spiritual director pressing on the Peter Pan point, and asking: “Let’s explore that. Let’s talk about what you were feeling and why.”

It was meaningful to me to be able to experience Peter Pan’s Flight that morning with my oldest Thomas.

I grew up wanting to be a movie or theatre director or producer. I started college studying theatre design. Some of my favorite moments in life were around making new things come to life. Helping to produce, write, direct, and create shows for national scouting conferences and Jamborees were among my favorite efforts and accomplishments.

I left school early to start my career when the opportunity presented itself. Along that path, “Starting things” have been some of my favorite opportunities.

• Starting our family

• Starting some of the first radio station websites

• Starting a new dotcom tech company before the 2000 tech bubble burst

• Starting new teams at production houses, ad agencies, and at Omniture & Adobe

• Getting back into a startup at Exodus

• Being a partner with our CMO/CCO at Exodus in creating the first (and perhaps last) Freedom Summit event for hundreds of men in the mountains of Colorado last fall (this has been one of my favorite efforts and one of the most meaningful to me in recent memory)

But still, deep down, there’s a spark that just wants to create… start… produce… even more things.

One important thing that I’ve come to learn about myself in the last couple of years, and especially the last six months, is that once something gets past the point of “starting” and “creating”, I can become bored and frustrated. I’m not the one to keep running it. I’m the one to get it created and started.

I had a hint at this after my first sabbatical at Adobe, more than 10 years ago. At Adobe, every employee is able to take a sabbatical every five years. Your first sabbatical at the five year mark is 4 weeks long, the next one is 5 weeks long, and every sabbatical after that is 6 weeks long.

When I returned from my first sabbatical, I was asking my team members who reported to me what was missing when I was away. One of them said, “We were missing the spark that you have that gets us to make the new things happen.”

While I had a hint of it from that teammate a decade ago, it hadn’t really coalesced into a full self-realization.

That’s now an important self-realization at mid-life, and will play into the way that I co-create my career path with my leaders and teams at work – and in my diaconate ministry – heading forward.

It even helps me understand why I was getting so frustrated in my diaconate. The fire that I had when I first landed in my parish assignment and had the opportunity to create and start new things was dying out as they all continued into maintenance mode and keeping them running.

What was it about going to Disney that had me so happy?

Flying through Peter Pan’s Flight, I realized the answer to Suzanne’s question. Walt Disney and the company and worlds he created are the embodiment of what excites me so much. Every element of every experience that Disney creates are thoughtfully created, brought into the world, to move and have an impact on someone.

Creating… Starting… Imagining what can be and giving it a spark into existence.

“Disney” helps me identify and reconnect with what gives me life and the type of work I like to be able to do.

There’s something about all of that coming to a head while riding the Peter Pan ride that ties it all together – Something of boyhood that was still lingering… Something of what fuels me that’s been right in front of me… Something of what doesn’t fuel me that I needed to come to realize… Something of unrealized dreams that I had set aside or continued to pursue in different ways…

It really came to a culmination in the way that Providence let me take that Flight with my oldest, who’s about to head to college to continue pursuing his dream to create, perform, and tell stories through theatre and dance.

Creating what’s next

“Create the future” is one of the four values at Adobe, where I’ve re-landed and am loving my work getting a team and program around Adobe using its own software best inside the company first. I find myself connecting the most to the values of “Create the future” and “Own the outcome”.

I was explaining to my spiritual director an idea for something that I would like to start next, that I’ve been working on writing for the last couple of months. We had a great discussion about the opportunity for it, and what it could do for the church and the world.

But he was able to caution me and press on something that my recent experiences already have me considering: If running it once I’ve started it drags me down, how am I creating it from the start with the mind of who will help keep it running once I’ve given it life?

I was happy to tell him that I was already thinking through that. The experiences of the last couple of years – and especially the last six months – have really helped me understand what fuels me, and what douses the flames of my passions. And I’m adjusting how I work and build based upon that.

Wrapping up

It’s fascinating to me how something as simple as a draw to run to a theme park to ride a ride, and then the experience of riding it, can lead to so much contemplation and self-realization.

But it can also help me say for myself now, what that CEO mentor said years ago…

“I finally figured you out. You’re a starter. You start things.”

“That’s the real trouble with the world. Too many people grow up.” – Walt Disney